What a Year!
However, it's always been said that nothing precious comes easily.
This year, I faced the potential of losing my uterus, the non-ability to have children just as I found someone who wanted to love me, marry me and have a family with me. I experienced a few near death situations and luckily for me, I had friends, truly soulful people, who were there when push came to shove.
Thankfully, surgery went well; I didn't lose one of the most basic attributes of my womanhood and my people were there to support and celebrate with fervor. Hopefully, I've been just as supportive and loving to them in their time of need. If not, then what are we here for?? What's the point of it all?
In May, I moved to Scotland and my American-centric ways are continuously challenged. (Actually, the hardest stuff for me was suffering through Scottish folk music, bagpipes, and their incessant love of bluegrass music!) It's so easy to get up on your high horse and sneer at others when they just don't fit your understanding of the world. I miss my friends, I miss my black community, and Americana pop culture.
But patience and silence, coupled with open ears and heart, appear to be my best tactics.
In the meantime, I've met some wonderful new people, slowly finding a new black community and making friends, who I hope to know for many years and grow to love as much as I do my people back home.
While trying to wrap my head around new love, new life, I still am writing my dissertation (arrghh!!!) that I must complete in the first half of 2007. But then, bam! I got pregnant!
Along with morning sickness and new cultural adjustments, I have come to understand that there are some people in the world who have so much anger and insecurity with themselves that they will lash out at you. Yet, I am still amazed and how cruel and vicious some can be.
Sadly, I've parted ways with some who I thought truly cared for me but in reality, lived for every moment to slice and hurt me.
Never underestimate the power of jealousy and what it will drive a person to say or do.
But thankfully, there are some amazing people that I'm privileged to have in my life. People who I would travel half-way around the world to see at their wedding.
Believe it or not, I attended a wedding of good friends who are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside. Some people really do live that sickeningly sweet Julia Roberts wedding movie! Even their friends are almost as beautiful as they are.
As of this month, I've gotten married (only a civil service so I can stay in the country), and I'm feeling my baby kicking and squirming around. Andy and I briefly did a jaunt to New Orleans for that wedding and then South Florida so that he could meet my family. And how they loooooved him. Sickening, really. I bet they'd keep him and not me if we divorced!
Haitians are soooo easy to impress: eat our food with gusto and we're yours! Granted, we do have some slammin' food. And Andy is easy to love. Andy quickly grew accustomed to hearing Haitian Creole randomly dispersed throughout our conversations. Much can get lost in translation and honestly, some things just mean more when said in their original language.
Ah South Florida! It was great to be back in the sun and warmth. There's no place in the US like it. It was wonderful to drive around and hear Haitian Creole, Jamaican Patois, and Spanish spoken on most radio stations! You can really feel like a true citizen of the world there. But in many ways, Miami isn't my home anymore...and hasn't been for years.
Most importantly, this year would not have been possible without the love and support of my man, all my friends, family, colleagues, and professors. It has been a terrifying and amazing life--one that was possible to survive and actually enjoy with their love. Nothing is certain in life except death. However, my people make the future less daunting. While still scared, I can actually look forward to it with a smile.
I am, because they are there for me.